So I had a strange dream last night. Basically, it was Hugh Grant and the other dude playing their roles in Bridget Jones’s Diary, and the woman who played April O’Neil in the first Ninja Turtles movie playing her role. It’s sort of weird because they don’t sync up at all, and because I haven’t actually seen Bridget Jones’s Diary, I’ve just seen bits from when my mom watched it three times a day.

And of course I was in it. I don’t remember what I was doing, but I remember having the van from that Ninja Turtles movie, and it being dark out and snowing and having to kick some squirrels off of the van, and all I had was the handle of one of those cheap plastic lightsabers to use as a flashlight, and for some reason I could adjust the concentration of the beam (like a Maglite), and I was kinda creeping out to the van, which was parked about 200 yards from April’s farmhouse.

Needless to say, weird things happen when you’re making up for not getting enough sleep in three days. Why can’t I ever just have sexy dreams about women?